


That Was Fun

by elvirakitties



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Complete, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Lucius Malfoy, Parent Severus Snape, Wrong Boy-Who-Lived
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 04:42:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5652856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvirakitties/pseuds/elvirakitties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Voldemort faces the wrong boy who lived.</p><p>This is a one shot, but I might add chapters later to fill in the background if I think of something original and funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Was Fun

"Who is that?" Voldemort was eyeing the boy they sent out to fight him. He didn't recognize this boy. He wondered what Dumbledore was doing.

"I am Mical Potter." Mical proclaimed loudly and rather proudly. He was a tall slender boy who was stepping up to the front of the Light forces. He had red hair with bright blue eyes.

"Who?" Voldemort was beginning to wonder who spiked their water. He wondered what was going on. He glanced around confused.

"I am the Boy-Who-Lived, the boy who survived your killing curse." Mical was famous after all, everyone knew who he was.

"No, you aren't." Voldemort looked around to see if this was a joke and the real Boy-Who-Lived was sneaking up on him. He kept looking and his Death Eaters were just as confused as he was. After all, something like this never happened. Voldemort looked at his confused Death Eaters and shrugged. He had no idea what was going on.

Dumbledore stepped forth, standing next to Mical. "This is the boy who survived the night of your failed killing curse." He was sure he had picked the right twin. There was never any doubt. The boy had a scar on his cheek to show he was the one.

Voldemort started to laugh and turned to his Death Eater. "He got it wrong, the great Albus Dumbledore got it wrong. That isn't the boy who I tried to kill, that is the boy who was in the next crib. Now isn't that a title. I can see that in the papers now." He heard his followers laugh at the new title for the boy. "Wrong boy, wrong crib."

"I am telling you that it is him." Dumbledore tried again, there was no way he could have it wrong.

"You weren't there, I was, and that isn't him. You messed it all up." He sighed, clearly disappointed and slightly annoyed. "You picked the wrong twin." He let out a laugh as he realized what happened. "Now this is funny. I am wondering what else you got wrong. Should we begin with a question and answer rounds to find out just how wrong you truly are?" Voldemort stated. Some of the Death Eaters were laughing.

"You mean to tell me, it was Harry?" Dumbledore clearly was skeptical of what Voldemort was saying. It couldn't be Harry. The boy was just too ordinary.

"If he was the one with dark hair, and vivid almost emerald green eyes, then yes, that is who I mean." Voldemort thought that this confirmed that the old goat had gone senile.

"It can't be. In Mical's first year, you were a wraith and lost to him. He burned Quirrell's form with his hands, rending him to ashes to save the Philosopher's Stone."

Voldemort looked confused. "Who is Quirrell? He burned a man with his hands, turning him into ashes for the Philosopher's Stone? Are you having me on? Why wasn't he brought up on murder charges? I mean if it was me, you would have been all over me, going on and on about how murder is wrong. How I would need to feel remorse for my actions. You wouldn't have shut up about it. I can hear the speech in my head right now. I know you would have had me in front of the Wizengamot on charges."

Dumbledore answered, "you were here as Quirrell. You possessed the poor man, causing his death. He was destroyed by Lily's love, it wasn't murder."

"Sorry no idea who that is-" He paused, "-you said it was when he was in his first year. I can tell you I was still in Russia at the time, I believe." Voldemort stated.

"Sorry my Lord, but I believe you were in Albania still, you didn't get to Russia until that summer." One of the Death Eaters told him.

"See told you I wasn't here. Now tell me more about this first year, it sounds kind of interesting. What else happened? I mean I want all the details. I don't think I have ever heard of someone being killed by love. It still sounds like murder to me, I mean rending the body into ashes, that isn't love, that is murder." Voldemort was very interested in this new information.

Dumbledore ignored that. "He can speak the language of snakes, and during his second year killed the Chamber's Monster. Show him, Mical."

Voldemort let out a stream of parseltongue that was very insulting to the boy and his abilities and Mical just looked at him, clearly not understanding a word of it. "No, he doesn't." Voldemort informed everyone, he was enjoying this, making a fool out of Dumbledore. This was much better than the battle he had planned. He was wondering how often he could do this. Make it a yearly event maybe.

"I don't understand, he controlled a snake. He opened the Chamber." Dumbledore mumbled.

Mical looked at Dumbledore. "I can actually just say a few words in the language of the snakes. Harry taught me when he introduced me to Alisha."

"How is Alisha? She is so sweet." Voldemort asked.

"What about the duel? When Draco summoned the snake and you controlled it?" Dumbledore asked Mical, ignoring Voldemort.

Mical looked down. "I really didn't, I just told it to stop. I learned the word stop from Harry earlier, and used it on the snake, Snape banished the snake after that."

Voldemort laughed. "I told you. You haven't answered me, how is she? She was such a sweet snake. A little protective, but what snake isn't?"

"Where is Harry now, Mical?" Dumbledore ignored Voldemort, again. He couldn't believe this, he was going to lose the war because he selected the wrong twin and that same twin had been lying to him. Why didn't he figure this out sooner? What did he do wrong?

"How should I know? He doesn't matter, you always said that. I do." Mical stated, clearly annoyed at being subjected to these types of questions. He didn't like the fact that Harry was being mentioned. He was the famous twin, he was the one who counted. Dumbledore always told him that. He was important, he was needed to be their Savior.

Voldemort looked again at the boy and to Dumbledore. "I do hope you aren't expecting him to defeat me because even I can tell from here, he barely has any magic. The only thing huge about that boy is his huge ego. I mean, you always thought I had one, but I have never lied, nor laid claim to something I never did."

Dumbledore looked to the people who followed him, who had believed in him, who believed in the-Boy-Who-Lived and saw them wondering what was happening. They heard what Voldemort was saying. "The prophecy says he will."

"You have to have the right boy for the prophecy to apply here. I didn't mark him as my equal, I didn't even go near him when he was little. If I remember he didn't even stop crying, while Henry-." He was now getting bored.

"Harry." One of his followers told him.

"Harry?" He paused, his Death Eater nodded, he continued, "kept looking at me, and laughed when I fired that Killing Curse, I was so shocked that I didn't move out of the way. The kid was laughing." Voldemort didn't want to admit he was laughed at by a kid, but making a fool out of Dumbledore was worth it. Especially with all his little light followers listening.

"He brought you back at the end of his fourth year." Dumbledore said with a smirk, knowing he had at least won on that point.

"No, he didn't. The boy I used had dark hair and almost killed me, he would have if it wasn't for the fact our wands were brother wands." Voldemort stated truthfully. His Death Eaters were there and he really had no reason to lie, they had seen what had happened. "Had to get a new wand for this battle. Well, I thought it would be a battle, but this is turning out to be much better. It's certainly more entertaining. I really didn't think you had a sense of humor, you surprised me."

Dumbledore paled at those words, he looked over to Mical. "You said you got away because after some fighting you managed to grab the port-key and escape."

"Oh, he got away using that method, that is correct, but there was no fight, and he left the other one behind. Harold got away because after our wands locked on, he apparated with accidental magic." Voldemort stated as he pointed to Mical. "He is nothing but a coward, and if the dark-haired boy he left behind was Henrick, he left his own brother to be killed."

"Harry." Voldemort was told again by another Death Eater. Voldemort just waved his hand in annoyance at his follower.

Dumbledore looked defeated, he had chosen the wrong twin. He had James Potter giveaway Harry. He knew Harry was abused and treated horribly by his own relatives but that hadn't mattered to him, only Mical had. He trained the wrong boy, he always wondered how the boy would defeat Tom because he knew Mical wasn't that powerful of a wizard, he went by the mark on the cheek. He didn't examine Harry and James didn't mention a scar on Harry.

"So, where is Harry?" He glanced over at one of his Death Eater, making sure he got the name right. At the Death Eater's nod, he continued, "I would love to meet with the real boy who vanquished me the first time and almost killed me the last three times we have met." 

"Three times?" Dumbledore was confused. Harry and Voldemort had battled three times. He was regretting not examining Harry himself.

"Yes, the graveyard, as you know, the brief fight we had in Surrey until some Ministry people showed up and tried to arrest the boy for underage magic. They engaged me and my people and I believe the boy never got charged because of it, and last year in the forest when we accidentally meet each other. Now that boy, he has power. I would love a chance to talk to him. We never really did. I was always a little upset about the whole Boy-Who-Lived mess, now if I had known you had the wrong boy, well, I wouldn't have even bothered battling him, I would have tried to recruit the boy."

"We need Harry. Find Harry." Dumbledore ran toward the castle. Everyone on the Dark side was watching and thought Dumbledore had really finally gone senile.

"I am guessing you aren't going to fight me today?" Voldemort yelled to a retreating form of Dumbledore. "Guess that means we win. Everyone drop your wands." He smirked. He certainly wasn't expecting to win this easy. Who knew they picked the wrong twin? He found that extremely funny, and couldn't wait to see what Rita would do in the paper tomorrow, or maybe tonight if they did a special edition.

Most of the Light were confused and weren't sure what to do. The boy, they assumed, was their savior wasn't, Dumbledore was running around looking for Harry Potter of all people. They dropped their wands, wondering what exactly had gone wrong. 

"Take anyone who resists." Voldemort started walking towards the castle. He really should have done this years ago.

Meanwhile:

Harry leaned against a tree watching it all, Severus was standing next to him in his Death Eater robes. "Idiots, the whole lot of them." Harry mumbled aloud.

"Indeed." Severus agreed.

"Did you see their faces, now that is a memory I am saving." Harry moved over to Severus who opened his arms and pulled Harry into a hug.

"When do you think Voldie will realize Harry Potter is really Sempus Snape?" 

"He hasn't yet, I don't think he ever will." Severus replied. "Besides, you aren't Harry Potter and haven't been since you were seven." Severus had found Harry in Surrey, by accident. He had seen a magical child being bullied and had interfered. He took him home with him, adopted him, and no one was the wiser. Harry showed up at school and with a time turner, he became both Harry and Sempus but never together. Every once in awhile he had made an appearance in Surrey. Voldemort had caught him there once.

"Very true, Dad, very true. They are never going to figure out it was us doing all the end of year threats are they?"

Severus laughed slightly. "No, so when do you plan on killing Voldie?"

"He is dying he just doesn't know it. I slipped him and Nagini that poison I made three days ago. Actually, Nagini is already feeling it judging by how she is moving." Harry replied as he pointed to the snake. "They will be dead by the end of the week. You and Uncle Lucius ready for when I take over?"

"Yes, Lucius is looking forward to it, so is Draco." Severus said.

Harry laughed, as he watched some of the Light side resisted and got stunned by the Death Eaters. "They really made it easy."

"I agree, they really should have questioned so many things." 

Lucius walked over to them. "I must say that was very enjoyable, I have always enjoyed the production you have put on before, but this was your crowning glory."

Severus and Harry laughed, who knew taking out both sides at once would be so easy. Harry smiled at Lucius. "I think we need to have a huge party after this. After all, it's not every day we get rid of Voldie and Dumbles.


End file.
